Is one dose of franchising, one too many?

Franchising is war.

A bloody, stinking, fetid version of trench warfare.

You’re in a battlefield where there are no rules of engagement, no standards of conduct. No prisoners are taken and your life savings are “liberated” once you sign.

Modern franchise warfare succeeds, largely, as a confidence game: deceit and confusion are it’s siren song.

You have to keep your wits about you and keep it in your pants. You can successfully operate on Franchise VD but, unfortunately, the patient always dies on the table (see Quiznos farce).

Don’t sign anything (new or old) no matter how much she pouts, threatens or holds out.

[she's actually your bitch, btw]  

Charity to your franchisor: Had enough yet?

Almost all franchisees I have met are very generous individuals that know they rely on humans for thier success.

But  everyone’s got their limits and no one wants to be played for a fool.

When the franchisor volunteers them too much, they tend to get a little lippy.

They remember how a few years back they were treated with respect, could expect to be treated fairly and could trust their business partners.

Nowadays, it just seems that it’s all one way.

Someone made the observation that their franchisor wanted to as their advisory council members to spend +20 hours of their time (for free) in reviewing the latest version of their operations manual.

I suggested that every one is free to support whatever charity they want but the Salvation Army was looking for volunteers this Christmas season to man their kettles.

Some hands are extended in gratitude in the true spirit of charity. Others are not.

Faith, hope and charity are basic human characteristics that form an important level of trust in our society. Without basic trust, the wheels of industry would grind to a halt.

Some franchisors think they’re not in the human values business.

They’ll learn.

Franchise Propaganda: Choosing to serve power, not Truth

Dealing with brand bullies is tough.

Not only do you have to do your own job, you have to try to separate the lies from truth.

The oldest franchisor trick is to divide-and-conquer by:

1. spreading half-truths,
2. promising “we’re really sincere this time”  (no…really),
3. keep the dollars and “give” back pennies of formerly franchisee margin, and
4. always delay any concession.

Many predatory franchisors do not want to demonstrate that they are deeply affected by competent franchisee association management. And they’ll certainly never give any credit where credit is due.

They act as if franchisees only have strong backs and weak minds and they come out with many new-found We feel your pain messages that are hollow when it comes to $ .

Want to know how Canadian lawyers think of Franchisees?

Franchisees are:

assets that talk back.

This is a direct quote from a published paper from the 2009 Ontario Bar Association franchise law conference in Toronto last October.

Assets that talk back.

Indeed.

Arch Brown (1928-2009), Canadian franchisee

One of my former customers passed away on Monday.

Arch Brown was a very special man although I only knew him a bit. A gracious man; someone that knew who he was and where he was supposed to be.

A man of service to others, support for the community and education.

When I was morphing from a struggling lawn care franchisee into whatever the hell I am now, I was told by a great teacher that the grocery, auto and Canadian Tire franchisees had a good thing going and that only the CT guys had the brains, guts and compassion enough to hold on.

The things that Arch said and didn’t say to me on his lawn I will remember forever. He showed me you should care enough to have to keep people at a distance. At least, for a while.

Mr. Barrie. Philanthropist. Father. Retired franchisee.

These are just labels. Arch was the real deal.

Everyone knows where Barrie is: It’s the place you go through to get someplace better. We all should grow where we’re planted because landscape matters. That is,  until your ride is here.

Chay, friend.

Nazis burned books 70 years ago. Fishy blocks writers/viewers today?

A  dead fish’s reputation washed up on the shores of Australia last week.

Carol Cross is a friend of mine.

She drives me crazy at times with her repetition. But, then again, I irritate people too.

I allow anyone to post on FranchiseFool. Carol tells me she is still banned from contributing at the FranchiseeFishNet.org.

This is unacceptable to me.

Carol cannot even see The Fish on her computer: that’s right, she’s that blocked. This is wrong on so many levels.

It’s not wrong because she’s my friend: It’s evil because she is  a person. Plus a citizen of the greatest democracy on earth. A veteran’s wife. A former franchisee invest0r.

This is  offensive to anyone that ever believed in the right of free speech, natural justice, military honour, the rule of law, democracy…

If you feel you “have to” block, censor, gag or burn books, you better take another look at your business model.

And, I suggest, the “friends” you have as advisors.

Any industry that can be shown to be fascists by an  little old lady isn’t deserving of any investment, let alone respect.

PS: I was stopped for a day (Nov 12, 2009) as a registered contributor to The Fish last week. I’ve put up with 1,001 cheap shot comments for a full 3 years (459 points) now. I have no fishy, behind-the-scenes telephone calls: I never explain or complain or apologize. I had to post as a Guest and was reinstated for a day.

My offense?  I wrote and posted a very valid post (I think) about economic fascism (Arguments in the Service of Power (subjective truth)) that was clearly addressed to Ray Borradale in Australia. I intentionally hid the Hitler, Goebbels and Mussolini quotes. I wonder when the post will be deleted? Good thing I captured it beforehand.

If anyone else alive or brain-dead took offence to having their behaviour compared to fascists…well..if the show fits…

Then the fish goes ahead and wears it.

That post and and 16 McLuhan quotes were thrown into the fish’s text ghetto: Ranter’s Soapbox, Way Off Topic Posts.  This is where all politically honest objective truth posts are put.

I was reinstated and my posts exist (for now). Some old lady named Carol is still is banned from the fish. I tested the waters, intentionally, one day after Canada’s Remembrance Day. My parents both fought and my Uncle Neil died resisting historical Nazis in WWII. I was not going to be bullied by a Guest troll.

You decide if totalitarianism is alive or dead in franchising today. Who is crooked, misleading and/or tyrants?

Either way, your comments are welcomed.

Canadian parliamentarians are the best

I have come to know successful politicians.

One I knew as a squire: One I met as a Knight.

I know their family, wife, kids, where they live…the whole nine yards. Stayed in their home. Ate at their table when I needed shelter from the storm.

I consider many of them,  my friends although our paths may have diverged lately. Their generosity…I will always remember.

They do a really tough job under unbelievable pressure with next-to-zero security.

Any two-bit cheap short artist (and I am leading the parade here), can and will openly call them:

• liars,
• corrupt,
• infinitely selfish,
• mentally unstable, etc.

Lay-abouts, closet pedaphiles, morons…you name it.

And they simply take it, suck it up and, one exhibits an other-worldly perspective.

He knows something I don’t.

But that’s ok: Everyone’s got a job to do and I trust these people like I trust my two sisters and one last brother.

My job, after publishing WikidFranchise,  is to enjoy the wait.

Note to self: Don’t even think to deceive let alone demean even backbench parliamentarians. Some have a high-speed connection to the I Am lady.

Mar shall explains franchising’s electrocution

I assure you, Professor McLuhan is a Canadian original.

His insights written in the ’50s to 1980 explain a lot of the present confusion.

The future masters of technology will have to be light-hearted and intelligent. The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb.

Watch this close to 6 minute video to see the means of execution.

So long you loser hosers.

Not much time today, I’m afraid.

I’m busy putting my house in order.

I’ve applied for a job in Australia.

When the Holy Franchise Empire collapses:

• which country will be the last to shatter like a crystal vase? (the Excited States of America)
• which country will be second last? (Canuckistan)
• the first?

My peers are setting a banquet here, here, here, here, and (especially) here.

Oh how I will enjoy the bugs…

I always thought an ombuds function would be quickly corrupted by the usual suspects.

Go figure: I was wrong once in my life

Commonwealth means recognizing wealth as a common good, to some degree. My Dad always spoke very well of these people

Fraud is a game with little downside risk

Make-believe jail time for CDN criminal fraud.

Detective Fred Kerr makes some excellent points in this Toronto Star article, Views from behind a fraud detective’s desk.

The sentences we’re getting in Canada are truly an embarrassment, because they’re so low.

A few years ago I had a $7.5 million investment fraud in Vaughan, a Ponzi scheme. He was targeting teachers … 35 people lost $7.5 million. Some people mortgaged their homes to invest with him. Some lost their life savings. He was sentenced to 4 1/2 years in jail, but realistically he was out on the street after just 13 months.

Q: What can be done to keep criminals behind bars longer?

A: The federal government recently introduced legislation to change that, so white-collar criminals will spend more time in jail. It’s long overdue …

Low sentences and conditional sentences served at home aren’t enough. We call it “make-believe jail,” because people are sitting at home and it’s hard to enforce. … There’s no deterrent there.

Q: What signal does that send?

A: In Canada we see a lot of people re-offending. That’s common. We re-arrest them many times and then they’re back on the street.

If you’re thinking of buying a franchise, talk to an experienced copper. They know how next-to-impossible criminal fraud is to prove and how expensive the civil justice system is.

This is how I saw the story on WikidFranchise.org as it relates to my experiences in franchising.

In the end, They’ll use your marriage against you

Whatever you’re attached to will be used to your disadvantage in predatory franchising relationships.

Ray makes many excellent points over at Blue MauMau.

One of his greatest insights is this:

your marriage will be used as a way of making you do what “they” want you to do.

In my experience, the attorney you hire to protect your family is simply weak, not evil.

That is their role, their fate.

Their folly.