Canadian Alliance of Franchise Operators, CAFO 1998-2005

May 14, 2010

We started CAFO in 1998. These were its goals.

I killed it off in December, 2005.

I have no idea who Elizabeth Miranda is but I have a very, very good understanding about what is up to.

This is kind of CAFO’s death certificate.


Franchisor gibberish when asked a question

April 18, 2010

Degrading language blows up in the perpetrator’s farce.

Any franchisee with experience with their advisory (lapdog) council should know exactly what this Ally Bank advertisement is getting at.

Egg management fee.

Does any franchisor actually think (seriously…really, now: kidding aside) franchisees are that stupid?

Why being a franchise writer should make you damn nasty

April 16, 2010

My goal is to understand franchising, not to be loved.

To contribute to public knowledge. To share insights and to encourage others to do the same.

Being “nice” is irrelevant.

In Voltaire’s Bastards: The Dictatorship of Reason in the West, John Ralston Saul presents what a writer’s job is.

VOLTAIRE: “That nasty man who did so much good.” Paul Valéry

Is it because Voltaire wasn’t afraid to be nasty that he did so much good? Almost certainly. There is no convincing evidence that writers can do their job by being nice.

And why should they be nice? To be asked to dinner? To be part of a corporation of writers, which like all corporate groups rewards discretion? To be rewarded with money, prizes and titles?

Nice writers are usually working for someone or senile or in the wrong business. Those who have done the most good as Voltaire prointed out, have “mostly been persecuted.” The nasty sort continue to be persecuted in most countries. In the West they have to deal with more sophisticated assaults such as bankrupting lawsuits and job loss. Worst of all – in this society of expensive communication systems – they are threatened with irrelevance…

What is left for writers to do?

Their only job is to make language work for the reader. that is the basis of free speech. Whatever the vested interests of the day may be, they invariably favour an obscure language of insider’s dialects and received wisdom. So the writer turns nasty. It’s a public service.

Dr. Saul is president of International PEN: Promoting literature. Protecting freedom of expression.

Is there honour among franchisors? Franchisees?

March 31, 2010


Whenever I hear a franchisor tell a franchisee he’s disappointed in him and he should act on his honour, I smile.

Sure I’m the one that self-identified as a boy scout here but that was after Rich Mimick taught us at Ivey that “If it doesn’t jingle, It doesn’t count.”

Scouts Canada pledge

On my honour
I promise that I will do my best
To do my duty to God and the Queen
To help other people at all times,
And to carry out the spirit of the Scout Law.

A proud 1st Midhurst cub & scout troop alumni.

Scout Canada Law

A Scout is:

  • Helpful and trustworthy,
  • Kind and cheerful,
  • Considerate and clean,
  • And wise in the use of all resources.

Wise in the use of all resources.

Endless consultation and fact-finding, No action

February 9, 2010

One of the ways you control what people think is by creating the illusion that there’s a debate going on, but making sure that that debate stays within very narrow margins. Namely, you have to make sure that both sides in the debate accept certain assumptions, and those assumptions turn out to be the propaganda system.

As long as everyone accepts the propaganda system, then you can have a debate.

— Chronicles of Dissent, Noam Chomsky

Why I will never write a non-ficiton franchise book

January 11, 2010

Marshall McLuhan said that every new book cannot be more be than 10% new material for the reading public.

The overwhelming public opinion is that franchising is in the sheep-shearing business rather than in the lamb-chop making business.

The former was true before: they created wealth for all stakeholders. Today, buying a new franchise is the later: It’s a different technology.

Any message repeated a million times can create the illusion of reality.

Ads seem to work on the very advanced principle that a small pellet or pattern in a noisy, redundant barrage of repetition will gradually assert itself. Ads push the principle of noise all the way to the plateau of persuasion. They are quite in accord with the procedures of brain-washing. This depth principle of onslaught on the unconscious may be the reason why.

Fiducia virorum in sinistra non in dextra est: A dead language for a dead legal specialty

September 7, 2009

ChimpanzeeAttorneyA McDonald’s USA CEO once described Micky D’s as a “real estate company with an interest in fast food”.

Being a lawyer within the franchise bar is 1 per cent law and 99% cash flow.

They are profit maximizing agents with marketing masks called: franchisor or franchisee. Technically, the franchise bar is a credence good group service providers which act in a coordinated manner to guard their monopoly on this self-defined subspecialty.

Litigation in franchising is a joke. A play.

A psychodrama for the newly aware. Graduate degree in post-modern amoral cynicism.

Franchisors pay 95% of all legal fees in the franchise industry.

The idea of a fighting chance (or fair dinkum as my AUS friends would say) is a farce.

farce n. 1 a a coarsely comic dramatic work based on ludicrously improbable events. b this branch of drama. 2 absurdly futile proceedings; pretense, mockery. [French, originally = stuffing, from Old French farsir from Latin, farcire, to stuff, used metaphorically of interludes, etc.] Oxford Canadian Dictionary

I watched up-close for 11 years these “titans of industry”.  They are very charming and knowledgeable and while good individuals by any measure, collectively are the greatest brake on any true industry reform because the cash flow:work combustion ratio is, in the short term, so rich.

They quote latin because their communication is meant to intimidate and close off understanding.

I don’t seem to have any commercial relationships with even the ones that insist that they are the Original White Knight franchisee lawyers. No shared clients. No emails. No free lunches. No fee sharing.

Not even Christmas cards anymore.

— Latin Proverb: Real men don’t attack

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