The Compass of Shame, Donald L. Nathanson

Money won, Money lost.

Not all that important in the long-term.

Of everything I have seen in franchising, shame is the most dangerous.

Shame can become permanent and lead to despair.

It is an extremely strong interpersonal emotion can be intentionally triggered by those wanting to stop dissent.

The Compass of Shame, Donald L. Nathanson

You should read about Dr. Nathanson’s work. He discusses a way out of the shame cycle on a YouTube video here and here.

In fairness, no one can make you feel a-shamed: you have to accept that judgment of the group. Technically, you can only really ever deceive yourself or give others permission to do so.

Our society used to be pretty good at differentiating between shame and guilt. Not so much now.

Everyone is expected to be successful and that there must be something wrong with you if you don’t follow along the crown.

  1. Guilt rides with the behavior (and can be solved by yourself).
  2. Shame is corrosive to your social identity and beyond your control.

Some people profit from your emotions in the pre-sale, entry, honeymoon phase.  Joy’s shadow emotions, shame and stigma (spoiled identity) are used at the exit.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: