Not all that important in the long-term.
Of everything I have seen in franchising, shame is the most dangerous.
Shame can become permanent and lead to despair.
It is an extremely strong interpersonal emotion can be intentionally triggered by those wanting to stop dissent.
The Compass of Shame, Donald L. Nathanson
In fairness, no one can make you feel a-shamed: you have to accept that judgment of the group. Technically, you can only really ever deceive yourself or give others permission to do so.
Our society used to be pretty good at differentiating between shame and guilt. Not so much now.
Everyone is expected to be successful and that there must be something wrong with you if you don’t follow along the crown.
- Guilt rides with the behavior (and can be solved by yourself).
- Shame is corrosive to your social identity and beyond your control.
Some people profit from your emotions in the pre-sale, entry, honeymoon phase. Joy’s shadow emotions, shame and stigma (spoiled identity) are used at the exit.